Chasing Mirrors

Photo: CA Hawthorne

Photo: CA Hawthorne

At an early age,
through the tears I feared to shed,
I’d gaze upon the reflective surface
and believe I must be dead.

“Who are you?”
I’d ask,
and turn away before the heartbreak
could last.

If not an illusion in each mirror,
then a personal hell to dwell in,
the deadly background laughter
explaining a torment others called sin.

“Run away,”
my heart cried,
too late—
the image damaged my eyes.

Looking back at those days
I lament the inescapable futility
of chasing mirrors
to find one that reflected “me.”

©May 2015, Christina Anne Hawthorne

5 Replies to “Chasing Mirrors”

  1. Pingback: Chasing Mirrors | Christina Anne Hawthorne

  2. I like your poetry very much, sometimes a little to dark for my taste. But this last piece tells the story perfectly. Loved it! Thanks for sharing it with us all.

    • Thank you! Yes, I do tend to “let it all hang out,” often posting poems that reflect my mood, even if it’s only momentary. I figure that maybe, just maybe, it’ll connect with someone out there who won’t feel quite so alone then. If the darker poems don’t resonate with you that’s fine and hopefully means you’re in a good place! I know I’m a long while in a good place again and working hard to stay there. 🙂

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