I have rogue personalities and they’re on the run.
No, not multiple personalities. Of course not. Well, not anymore.
I used to have a bunch, but at one point they moved away and I haven’t talked to them in years. Some even ventured out of the country, but, like I say, I haven’t had any contact with them so they could be anywhere. One could even be your neighbor!
Believe me, there’s a good reason I haven’t talked with any of them.
We had a falling out years ago when I found out they were talking about me behind my back. Since then they’ve given me the silent treatment.
It’s an eye opening experience when you find out that some personalities can’t be trusted. Well, in my case, I can’t trust any of them. It truly makes me sad, for I thought we had a solid bond. I don’t know for certain, but I believe some of them associate, that they go shopping, take in movies, and even get together for the holidays.
That’s an awful lot of personalities gathered around one table.
I saw a picture once that was supposed to show them all out together, but it sure didn’t look like a group shot to me!
At present I’m trying to sue them for harassment, for I’ve noticed things moved in the house and I’m certain I didn’t move them. I am, of course, especially suspicious because I know they all have a key to my place.
Anyway, I hired a private investigator to follow them. He didn’t learn much, but he was able to snap a few photographs. After that they went underground and I’ve been unable to locate them again.
If you’ve seen any of these rogue personalities please let me know, but be careful. I don’t think they’re entirely stable personalities.
Christina #1 researches multiple personalities in mice and is likely teaching at a university somewhere where she forces her students to eat cheese. She’s known to speak in code and once was quoted as saying, “737027480173.” You simply can’t trust someone like that. Last seen: Harvard University.
Christina #2 is especially dangerous and at one point threatened to track down the other personalities and teach them proper culinary hygiene. Thus far she’s been unable to locate any of the others, though she’s convinced they’re always right behind her. Last seen: Paris.
Christina #3 has gone more than underground, she’s discovered real vampires and been accepted into their inner circle. It’s believed they’ve made her one of them in the hope that her more sympathetic perspective will lead to a booking on daytime television. It’s thought that she works part-time as an undertaker. Last seen: Los Angeles.
Christina #4 councils cats in an effort to avert their eventual takeover of the world. Thus far attempting to hypnotize the animals has only resulted in putting herself to sleep. It’s said she’s so frustrated that she’s spitting hairballs. Last seen: Vienna.
Christina #5 is rumored to have spent time working with homeless zombies and learning their special needs. Since then she’s traveled extensively in an effort to make the world more aware of her new line of zombie cosmetics. Last seen: New Orleans.
Christina #6 started a chain of singing spiritual groups that preach to apparitions. She’s a little mixed up. Thus far she claims to have formed 13 groups, but attendance has been difficult to track owing to the see-through nature of her followers. Last seen: Graceland.
Christina #7 has supposedly become a witch who advocates utilizing alternative materials in brooms in an effort to save more trees. After being struck by lightening 17 times she switched her advocacy from metal to plastic. I hear even moonlight is enough to make them sag in the middle. Last seen: Salem.